you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
