So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
