idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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