The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize