I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
