How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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