so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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