I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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