billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
