Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
