some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
