kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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