FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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