i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
