She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my shit smells like andre
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize