That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize