please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
