Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
