STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
