Nicole vs. Life
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's blow job season.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
