Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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