i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
