you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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