Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
