Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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