you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
