Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
