please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
