ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
