In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You dont lie about slip and slides
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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