Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
