I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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