One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
