The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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