Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
