Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
