dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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