hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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