I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
