you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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