How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
