areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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