i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
