i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
