all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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