just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
