I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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