Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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