What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
