I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
