yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize