Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
