If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
