Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
