sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
