Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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