dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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