oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
