somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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