It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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