i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
