Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
