oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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