what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
